Gospel for Pain

Everyone has felt the pain of rejection and betrayal from this world. It’s a given that at some point in your life you will be rejected, betrayed, or bad mouthed by someone at some point in your life. If you haven’t experienced this pain, you haven’t lived long enough - hold on, it will come. There is no self-help trick that will ever fix the thing that ails you - only the gospel. We all need the gospel, we’ve all been rejected, betrayed, and hurt. I’ve always been the awkward wallflower so I know the pain of not being accepted or fitting in with the “in crowd” or any crowd for that matter. But who said we were supposed to fit in anyway? God made each of us unique. I enjoy being a soft quiet wallflower with soft quiet surroundings.

Christian Blemish

We have this idea that Christians are perfect, always kind, always loving, they never gossip.  They would never form an opinion of you based on gossip. Would they? Surely they would get to know you for themselves before judging you on the basis of another, right? It turns out that Christians are simply sinners who admit they have a problem and need a savior. Christians often don’t realize they are gossiping. Much gossip comes under the guise of “prayer for others” or over sharing private details in an attempt to help “fix” someone. Oftentimes this gossip stems from a chatty popular one from the “in crowd”. John Newton calls this person, Humanus, this is the person with the self sacrificing life and a tireless tongue. Humanus loves people, is quite emotional, and connects well with others. Your kids and money may be safe with Humanus but your secrets aren’t. They don’t mean any harm, it’s just they can’t keep silent. Their mouth is as big as his heart. They exaggerate to embellish stories in order to feed their need for attention. “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” Psalms 141:3

There are those who may not have malicious intentions but the results are just as harmful. When you speak of others in a negative light you slander them and other people begin to view that person in a bad light, even though they have never had a conversation with this person. I’m not sure what’s more bothersome to me, that people don’t think for themselves and form their own opinion or the gossip? Either way, it matters how you speak of another person. If you have an issue or something negative to say about someone and you’re truly a Christian, you should speak directly to the person and try to correct the matter. If you can’t speak to them about it, bring it up to someone who can help. “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” - Proverbs 10:12.

Value of People

Well, maybe sometimes Christians gossip but they would never show favoritism, would they? Yes, they do, and it hurts. Not only does it hurt the individual but it hurts the entire church body. God shows no partiality in the covenant of grace. So why do we size people up? When you size someone up you determine their worth or worthlessness. Do you view people as unworthy to associate with, unworthy to have dinner/coffee with, unworthy of a response? Some of the deepest wounds come from Christians and church cliques. This disunity is disabling to the body of Christ. We all need each other. “The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so there should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it.” 1 Corinthians 12:21-26. Christians are made new in the image of Christ. We are called to accept all people, regardless of their status, situation, or history. Jesus Christ showed compassion and mercy to all. He did not show favoritism, for God shows no partiality. - Galatians 2:6. Are you concerned about your social position? Consider that Jesus surrendered his position in heaven to die on a cross in order that we might be called children of God. We are adopted into the family of God by sheer grace! We are to bear one another’s burdens and accept one another. “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ has accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:5-7

Look to the Cross

How to navigate through the pain of rejection and betrayal from an organization, your work, family, church, or friend? Where to go when it hurts? I call it the “Gospital”, dive into God’s word and medicate yourself on the gospel. I’ve learned not to defend myself for things people say or opinions whispered about. I let God defend me. “My shield is with God most high, who saves the upright in heart” - Psalms 7:10. Let your actions do the speaking by walking in the Spirit. The Holy Spirit himself testifies that we are God’s children. - Romans 8:16. Look to the cross and know that Jesus knows exactly how it feels to be rejected, slandered, and the pain of betrayal on a cosmic scale. Remember “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.“- Romans 5:8.  I only need to remember the grace and forgiveness the Father shows me for my sin and extend that grace and forgiveness to others. Remembering my own sin is enough to knock the legs from under any thought of retaliation or defensiveness. Forgiveness is the absorption of pain. That’s what Christ did on the cross for us. He bore our sin and shame naked on the cross, absorbed the pain that we deserved, and in exchange he clothed us in his perfect righteousness. “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives is the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you” 1 Corinthians 15:56-58 We have been set free from the crippling need to defend and protect ourselves. We are now clothed in the righteousness of Christ. How can we entertain thoughts which are contrary to God’s word and will? Seeking retaliation and protecting our ego only leaves us empty and broken, but “Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be satisfied.”-  Matthew 5:6

Pray

Before holding a grudge on someone for gossiping, betraying, or speaking ill of you, remember your own sin that Christ has forgiven you for. Pray for those who are unkind to you, like Christ prayed - “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34. If we’re going to talk about a person that bothers us, let us talk about it to God. Let us ask God to show us how we can help the other person. Remember the hardest people to love are usually those who need love the most. You don’t know what another person has gone through or might be going through. We have to remember to pray for each other. Through prayer the church resist the assaults of Satan. 

Walk by the Spirit

It still hurts when we’re not accepted by others, especially other Christians but when we know with all our heart that we are accepted as children of God it won’t matter because our identity is in Christ alone. The hurt we feel is part of picking up our cross and dying to ourselves. Love bears all things, believe all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.- 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 We are “accepted in the Beloved (Christ) in Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.” Ephesians 1:6-7.  We still need to live at peace with others, so in the meantime, pray for those who are unkind. We are all being sanctified and are a work in progress. God is patient with us, let us be patient with others even though it hurts. Jesus became made like us in every respect, so he might become our merciful high priest to make propitiation for our sins. Because he suffered and was tempted he is able to help us. Meditate on Hebrews 2:14-18 and fix your eyes on Jesus. “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” - Galatians 5:16